Friday, October 31, 2008

Forgiveness

My mother first taught me about the art of forgiveness. I remember a gleaming white wall that stood proudly behind my parent's bed. The sound of Mum in the shower, steam curling through the en suite door into her room where I waited and a thick black marker pen on a bedside table. Forgiveness came quickly that day as Mum, an artist understood the lure.

For a long time I was the seeker of forgiveness but with motherhood, the balance has changed and I have become a dispenser. The above necklace was knitted in a beautiful bamboo yarn. I wore it joyfully and briefly, until a small child in a large rage threw it onto the ground, the glass marbles inside smashing against the concrete floor, crating large gaping holes in it. And of course, after a short while, forgiveness for the small, anonymous child was obtained.

However, I am now realising thanks to Archie that the roles of forgiver and forgivee are not static and to be forgiven as a mother for mistakes is so precious, it is almost as thought you get to hold their unconditional love as a small bird in your palm... seemingly fragile but with a life of its own, a heart beat fuelled by its own kind of energy.

Last night I was trying to book tickets to Australia for Christmas, a job that fills me with stress for all the rigmarole involved with travelling to my family (of course I know I am lucky that I can see them...). Archie kept calling to me down the stairs with all sorts of excuses for me to come up to his bedroom, of course not understanding that every time I left the computer, the details I was entering would lapse. Eventually I snapped and yelled up the stairs with such anger and frustration my voice hurt.
I was instantly stricken and went upstairs later to apologise. Archie was lying in bed looking sad and instantly responded with the warmest smile and "It's okay Mummy", reaching to hug me. This morning over breakfast he said I deserved a certificate from Father Christmas for saying sorry so well. My hands felt as though they were filled with warm feathers.
There are two other things that have recently taught me more about the nature of forgiving:
-Painting and the never ending colours you can put on a canvas.
-The sun returning to earth every morning, providing another canvas for the day (see above)

Anyway, I had better fly and pick Hugo up from Minnows because it is still better to try and do the right thing I guess than leave him there for the day and just hope that his teachers will forgive me.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Another photo of the vest.... and of course Hugo

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Hugo, Chewy and a New Vest.
The same night our cat Tinkerbel had four kittens (or mice as Archie and Hugo thought), a little lamb was born out in a cold, wet and windy paddock. Jonno received a phone call yesterday from a local farmer saying its mother had died and wondering whether we would consider fostering it. Keen to keep my ovaries distracted, Jonno took the boys and swelled the ranks of our family.
We have been tossing around a few ideas for names - Archie: Baa Baa lovely Baa Baa, Hugo: Indian lamb. Eventually they came up with Chewy because it chews grass........ Jonno hopes it isn't appropriately named.
Hugo is wearing a vest I finished knitting today, the first time I have knitted bands around the collar and armholes. I actually started on the vest a few months ago and I have come away with the understanding that it is always better to anticipate lots of growth rather than little, tiny bits.
A morning treat...

I think after five and a half years of being my son, Archie fully understands my obsession for aesthetics. I popped my cup of tea down for a moment this morning before checking out my favourite blogs and on return found a crane artfully arranged on the lap top. Thanks Archie, you are a cracker-jack.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Felt Brooches


Some current paintings - I had a dinner party the other night and said "Ah ha ha ha, it's also an art exhibition" and then everyone had to look politely at my pictures.... "Very nice" they muttered, edging away from my anxious and slightly hungry expression.


Some writing paper I have been sewing on my machine. Pity about the lighting.


Brooches, brooches and more brooches. Maybe I should wear them all into town, they would keep me warm and when people look at me I can say "I made them myself with real human blood" :)

So this is my first post, I am just going to get it up quickly and then I won't feel so nervous about it, a bit like something else nudge, nudge, wink, wink - by the way, probably not what you are thinking Mum if you are reading this, I mean like the first time I got up on a bike, the next time was much easier. I don't think that sentence made much sense. Oh well.

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